Dedwards
Don't be confused. This isn't a post about how incompetent our dear friend Dave is. No. Instead it's about my fish. 
After owning an aquarium for 3 months, I finally got the tank to a point where I believe I may actually be able to sustain life in it. Unfortunately, I also decided that the first fish would also not be the one to sustain. I went down to our local Capital Aquarium and picked out a Damsel fish. At $4 a fish, its the cheapest salt water fish you can buy. It seemed that up to this point my hermit crabs had survived, but they're very hardy creatures. I tried to step up my game a bit and add a fish. All my levels checked out before I went to buy a fish. This was going to be my first salt fish, so I didn't have complete faith in my tank. When i brought him home I named him after our good friend Dave. His name is Dedwards. I named him as such, because I was certain that I had missed some detail in the biology of the tank. Unfortunately, one of the previous sentences is incorrect and should be in the past tense. Not 8 hours later and Dedwards lived up to his name.
That was Thursday. Today is Sunday and I'm giving my luck another try. I gave the tank a good scrub down, despite potential algae spread, and gave it a water change. I picked up a new Domino Damsel at the O Street Aquarium and I'm continuing the naming convention onward. The new fish (in honor of Dave, our project, and my Irish heritage) is named Domino O'livewards (read: alive-wards). I'm hoping this change in semantics, which seems like a very bureaucratically managerial decision, will in fact turn the tides and get us that necessary win. After all its not the fact that I bought a different species of fish from a different aquarium that's important...no. It's what I named the fish.
With a little luck the fish will survive and the whole project team will live on through this little bugger. He already looks like he'll fare better than his predecessor. And the whole fish situation will be another "oh in your face Gabe!" The whole situation will be oh so bittersweet. I'll miss you guys! Come visit your obfuscated project name fish anytime.