Pea Shooter
I could not think of a cleaver title for this post, but who really cares? Anyway, I just read a post titled "Man used penis to assault female police officer." The first thing that came into mind was "those crazy Floridians are at it again". Read the excerpt below.
The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck.
I have a couple of questions! The story states that the defendant was sitting on the couch before said schlonging. How the hell did he end up standing OVER the police officer? Also, I want to know more about the evasive action. The story sounds fishy to me, haha.
Dissing Visual Basic
Haha, check out the below snippet from a local employment listing. The company is looking for Senior .NET developers with C#, Visual Studio, JavaScript, SQL, Reporting Services, etc. and has the balls to call out that "Experience with Visual Basic doesn't count." WTF!
There is an ongoing debate between the C# & VB camps over everything and anything, but we all know both .NET languages compile into MSIL and then JIT'd to O/S specific machine code. Aside from some language differences, it is all the same shit!
It is apparent the employer does not know what the fuck they are talking about. Oh, here is another nugget to consider. Some of us know the employer! Lame. Lastly, I know VB guys who can kick their entire team's ass. Bets anyone?
Wedgie Etiquette
Some form of this topic has been discussed on the web, but here are my 2 cents. Today, I witnessed two de-wedgings in a meeting. Can you already tell where this is going? I have a couple comments and tips for the wedged.
If you are presenting or writing on the whiteboard in a meeting, one indiscrete pull of the wedgie is sufficient. No need to subject the entire audience to a short squat and twist. If you did not de-wedge it the first time, man up and ride that wedge like a wave.
Geek Poser
Damn! I was reading an article on the iDongle, which is a hardware-based jailbreak tool, and somehow ended up taking the Original Geek Test. Well, I took the geek test and scored an anemic 10.65% - Geekish Tendencies. I am a poser, smack me down now. Are you a poser?
Bad Kitty
Have you ever seen a male driver shaving while driving? Maybe. Have you ever seen a woman driver shaving while driving? No. Me neither. But just because we have not seen it does not mean that it does not occur. Hmm, I should rename this post to "Bald Kitty". Bruahaha!
According to the Key West news site, keysnews.com, "Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash...was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat...'She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit,' [a state trooper] said."
Old Farts
Hmm, why do we call older people "Old Farts"? Wiktionary and other sources define an old fart as an elderly person who holds views that are considered old-fashioned. If this is true, our country is run by old farts. Quick PSA. Remove Reid and Pelosi NOW! End PSA.
Anyway, back to the definition of old farts. It just doesn't click for me. I would be inclined to think that we call elderly people old farts, because their farts are "Old" or they cannot control their asses and they drop the "F" bombs like it is nobody's business.
Also, wassup with the old guys wearing both suspenders AND a belt. What the hell is that? I can see using one or the other, but not both. Where the hell do the old timers think their pants are going? I just do not get it. I am out.
Tapping That Ass
Haha! I get to use "Tapping That Ass" again, who would have ever guessed? Check this out, I stumbled on another website. Yeah, yeah. The website is "Can I Tap That" .COM, which asks visitors to text someone and ask them "Can I Tap That?" and post the response.
I read a couple of pages, but think the site is boring. But that is just me. Okay, ass tappers go ahead and text someone and ask them if you can "Tap That". Post your response on the website and see if it makes the Top Taps List.
Best Answer
I heart Yahoo! Answers, because you just never know when you are going to stumble on a gem. Below is a classic example. The poster asks if she can get pregnant from "Tappin that ass". Haha, I have always wanted to use that phrase in a post.
Back to the question. I guess it's a valid question, so let's leave it at that. The topic of this post is not the question, but the answer. The responder answered the question with some funky ASCII art. Nice.
More Apple Humor
I think it's time to change it up, because this is the third Apple-related post in two days. I will change the theme tomorrow, but have to wrap up the day with the below photo. The photo speaks for itself, haha!
New Apple Product
Hey, check this out. There is buzz all over the dub dub dub that Apple is working on a new product. What is all the buzz about? Insiders "claim" that Apple is working on an iPad Nano, which has a new content delivery model aka the "iBooklet".
Yup! An iPad Nano that will look and function EXACTLY like the Apple iPod Touch, but cost more of course. Industry experts are speculating that Apple may add phone capabilities to future versions of the iPad Nano too. Man, how does Steve Jobs do it?
